return of bad luck...

Problems, why didn't you go away??? More and more problems are ambushing me from left, right, centre, front again. It's like under a death sentence, being forced to stand in front of a firing squad and you can't do no shit about it. Why???? I think i'm on the verge of insanity soon. Is this somehow a way of god's punishment to me?? Did i do something wrong???

The epiphany of not having a car right now is just too much to bear.. Especially for someone in sales. I depend solely on my car to do my job. My car literally is my source of income. Without one, it's like being crippled! Plus, to make things worse, it's my most critical moment of all, my closing month for the quarter!! And this quarter, i stand a very high chance of hitting my target!!!

I used to be and was a strong, independent and tough person all along..TILL NOW..i don't know really know how long i can take it anymore..!!! I've tried to look at things positively but it's just too sudden AND ...TOO MUCHH to bear!!! I just can't think straight anymore... everything is so DAMN screwed up.. all my plans are practically messed up.. I know i have plans to get a new car. BUTTT... it's just not the f****** right time.

F***!!!! When will all this shit come to an end??? I guess this is nature's way of throwing a challenge at you. Prepared or not, you have to face it no matter what happens? Can you make it, it all comes down to you?? Can i do it?? That is not a question. I've to bear with whatever is thrown at me, overcome it and strive to survive no matter what!! Every second, i am constantly telling myself, comforting will be the precise word, " This will be over soon. You've been through the worst, you will survive. Be strong!! "

Life is full of challenges. At the age of 27, both my sanity and patience is being tested now. I was tested once previously and i managed to survive. All these while, i've been living in a very protective world. Until now, it all comes down to making it or breaking it. Can i make it??? I am very sure that i am most DEFINITELY not a loser and i will NEVER, EVER, give up no matter what happens. I WILL SURVIVE AND STRIVE THROUGH THESE BAD TIMES (*psyching myself to the max now*). I'm just lucky to be alive. That's all that matters. I just hope (*fingers crossed*) that all this will come to an end soon (*PLEASEEEE*)....