Am trying my best not succumb into bitterness, sorrow and pain (umm..). Ok, I do admit pain and sorrow will always be there no matter how hard I try and tried to appear strong. I forced myself to go out tonight in efforts to abstain from dwelling and drowning in sorrows. I thought being amongst friends can make me feel better. But upon seeing them, I was wrong. I decided put up an act to cover up my sadness. This has been a frequent habit for me. My life seems to be turning into a big show. (This is when Lenka's song 'The Show' comes into mind..hmm..)
Literally speaking, I am not the type of person who easily shows my emotions despite how bad I feel to others because I do not want nor wish to affect them. Laughing and smiling when you're utterly upset is the worst feeling ever. I'm so tired but I can't seem to fall asleep. Because I know that once I close my eyes, everything will come flooding into my mind. Can one be suffocated by their own thoughts? Leaving you hard to breathe, drowning in fear, pain and sorrows... Why?? Why me? How can U do this to me?
*sigh* Welcome to the cruel reality!! ..
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